To prepare for our Hawaii trip in 10 weeks without Azure I have started the process of weaning. She was nursing about 5-6 times a day with 2-3 solid food meals. This past week I've read a lot on weaning and decided to cut out the "unnecessary" nursing sessions which translates to nursing solely for comfort.
We've dropped down to about 3 nursing sessions now: in the morning, nap time and bedtime. I'm grateful the Lord has answered my prayers and fast about this and that it's going more smoothly than I anticipated. In all honesty though, this is hard on me emotionally. It means Azure is growing up and that our special bonding time is coming to a close. I know that we will be able to bond in other ways but I will miss offering her that comfort when she needs it.
Yesterday she fell trying to balance herself on the wall and bonked her head. When I picked her up to console her she immediately tried sucking on my chin!
Before I had Azure I wasn't sure how I'd feel about nursing. And when she was born it was tough, as it usually is for every new mother. I had lots of mixed feelings and looked forward to the day when she would be weaned! Now that that time is nigh I am nostalgic. Nursing has been one of the most precious experiences of motherhood thus far for me.
So, I'd like to open a forum of discussion and solicit your advice on what has worked for you in the weaning process (bottle or breast) and invite you to share your stories/memories on ending this stage.
15 comments:
Oh, man! Weaning was sooo hard... for me--not Haley! I started weaning her at 11 months to cows milk in a sippy, and she did really well (it was summertime, so I'd take her outside, and she'd enjoy COLD milk after playing outside in the heat). Anyway, I was down to one side (just in the morning) when we went to my neice's baby blessing, and was planning on stopping right after we returned home. Anyway, when we got back, I was so upset about weaning, that I went back to both sides in the morning for another 3 weeks, and she wasn't completely weaned until she was a little over 13 months. It was really hard for me and I actually had some mild post-weaning depression! You have to do what works for you. Don't let other people pressure you into either continuing or stopping.. you have to follow your own feelings, otherwise, you'll feel guilty later.
P.s. The main reason I stopped when I did was because I knew I'd feel worse when some months down the road SHE'd eventually not want to nurse anymore! That would have broken my heart!
I don't know how much advice I have to give because to be honest I don't remember all that much. Obviously I have no advice about the whole weaning thing, but I do know sippy cups. The best one in my opinion for beginners is the Nuby silicone topped one. It is really easy for a younger child to use and Zach went from bottle to that really easily. We eventually had to move on from those because Zach would gnaw a hole in them and to this day he destroys the tops of his hard plastic ones too, but I'm pretty sure all my nephews do the same. And I know you know, but I promise there are plenty of things in life that only YOU will be able to provide for Azure. The whole reason she has developed a loving bond for you is because you have provided her the essentials in her life thus far and as she ages it will melt your heart to see that there truly are only some things a child will want their mother to do even if the father is very involved. Of course it melts your heart the same to see your child go crazy about hearing the garage door open! (Of course that means Daddy is home.)
Thanks Stefani for sharing your story. I've heard of the depression associated with weaning, makes your hormones all out of whack. I've already had some mild signs of that too. I would nurse her longer but we can't take her with us to Hawaii and this is the ONLY time we can go.
Julie- We have that sippy cup we just can't convince her to REALLY drink out of it, more of the chewing/gnawing you described.
Thanks girls, keep the comments coming :)
well, what really worked for me...j/k! dont be sad sister!
Oh, if you're having trouble getting her to actually suck out of the sippy, it sometimes helps to suck some up yourself so that there is liquid sitting above the valve (if you're using one with a valve). We actually had more success getting her to use the First Years Take 'n Toss sippies at first, and ones that had a larger mouthpiece so it was more like the breast (for instance, she preferred the toddler shaped Playtex sippy to the infant shaped one with a smaller mouthpiece).
I would just always have the sippy cup sittng out. Even if you just put water in it at first. Let her think of it some what as a toy and eventually she will get the hang of it when she realizes that liquid is coming out. Or if you put juice in it then when she does get a taste she'll might want to suck more. I don't think she'll be angry when you put milk in it. The only reason I don't suggest keeping milk in it at the beginning is because it does last as long sitting out. I also know that when we switched from formula to cow's milk we gave him mixtures of the two gradually increasing the cow and decreasing the formula in the mixture. I'm sure it's no fun for you right now, but I promise everything will work out and you are a great mother and everything will be fine.
Okay, sorry to be a "blog hog" but I have another tidbit:
I don't know if this is relevant to you or not, but if you haven't started, um, receiving your "monthly bill" again, I got mine exactly 3 weeks after I stopped nursing. So, if this is the case, then I'd suggest having her weaned either more than 4 weeks before your trip or not until a week or so before. (I didn't think about it when I weaned, and it put a bit of a damper on our anniversary!)
Stefani- I'll have to try some sippies with a a larger mouthpiece. I hadn't thought of that, thanks. Oh and I also hadn't thought of "the monthly bill" visitor. Yikes! Definately good to keep that in mind, most definately!
Julie- I bought her that sippy cup when she was about 4 months and she has been playing with it since (with just water). She does suck on it a little more than usual when there's juice in it. That's a good idea about gradually adding the cow's milk. She hates formula though!
So, my next question is how do you stop the bad habit of having them fall asleep sucking? Any good recommendations on sleep training books? I have just let her cry it out and that only works sometimes. She's pretty stuborn and will cry for an hour straight! And nothing makes her as drowsy as nursing and that of course must stop!
Here I go again:
Okay, so I'm totally against the cry-it-out approach... when it's just a toss-them-in-the-crib-alone-for-an-hour approach. It doesn't seem very nice to make them cry, then wander in every five minutes to tell that their okay, either. They're babies! Do they understand what's going on? I would feel neglected if suddenly I'm being left alone after being nursed to sleep for 8+ months.
We got Haley to go to sleep without nursing by rocking her--and if she cried, at least she wasn't alone. Although, our situation was a little different because around the time I started weaning her, she was still night-nursing, so we dropped those by having Quentin rock her back to sleep, so that just got extended to the going-to-bed ritual. It's tough, and it takes time, but eventually if you pick SOMETHING and stick to it, it will work. CONSISTENCY is the key--regardless of what you do! (And if you do choose the cry-it-out approach, that's okay, too. I could just never stomach hearing my baby cry all alone for an extended period of time.)
Obviously every child is different and the Nuby one has a really large top on it, but if you are going to try other sippys then playtex is deffinitely the way to go. Their valve actually stays in the gerber one always popped out on us. But for sleep I do remember the struggle. Zach slept with us until he was 9 months and I never let him fall asleep while eating. I knew it would come back to haunt me in the end. We had switched apartments around then and it somehow worked perfectly where his bed was no longer sharing the wall with a neighbor so I didn't feel as guilty since I wasn't disturbing other people. 9 months was a good age for us. I don't remember what exactly worked it kinda just fell in place, but I read a ton on sleep because we had so many issues with him in the beginning. Hence he slept in our bed for such a long time. But one method I tried is where you sit in the room with your child while they lay in the bed and each night move yourself so many inches from her crib. The first few nights you can pat her and rub her back, but you shouldn't pick her up. The next couple you still talk to her, but you don't touch her and eventually you are sitting at the doorway and hopefully it works. I don't know if this really worked for us, but I know I tried it and it has worked for a lot of other moms. The best book I can advise you on is called Good Night, Sleep Tight by Kim West. She is known as the Sleep Lady. I don't think I ever bought the book, but I did read any article I could find with suggestions by her. She has a website and you can get emails from her for free. You can also pay big bucks to have her give you advice over the phone!!! But just google the Sleep Lady and you'll get some info. I'm far from an expert on any of this because we all have had these struggles and hopefully it goes better the second time around at my house, but it is never easy unfortunately!
Also, (sorry) I did rock him to sleep when he was an infant, but the closer he got to being one I tried not to rock him anymore because of a lot of stories I had heard and I was doing what I could to encourage good independent sleep habits so that I wouldn't have to get up and rock him in the night. Not saying that it isn't great for other people, I personally didn't want that for us. As hard as it was to let go of him being my little baby. I probably annoy the daylights out of him because I'm always kissing, loving and hugging on him since as you know I'm very affectionate, but I gotta get it in somewhere! And routine is key. It helps prepare them to know it is time for sleep. Ours to this day is bath, pajamas, teeth, books then hug and kiss goodnight. It wasn't perfect everytime with him going to sleep because he did turn two and for some reason he wanted to rebel, but a routine is important so that she knows it will be time for sleep soon. Try making something after eating like a book and then laying her in her crib awake and singing her a song. That way everytime you lay her down after a book and sing to her she knows it's time for bed. I'm sure you do most of this already, but I'm not at your house nor am I in Utah so I can only suggest what comes to mind! Love you!!!
Thanks yet again girls for your suggestions. She actually was an amazing sleeper until recently. But, I suppose we'll have to start something new and eventually we'll get her back on track...hopefully!
you wanted some advice not an essay huh?!? oops!
love you DEE! Hope you can work out the weaning issues. As Ezra was pumped breast milk in the bottle, I never had the technical "weaning" problem. But when it was time to switch from his bottle, he refused sippy cups, but boy oh BOY did he go to town on cups with straws. Each kid is unique. Hope Azure figures it soon. Also, MUY jealous about your Hawaii trip!!!!!!! So excited for you! I will never forget your anniversary date, girl! (for those of you that don't know, we share the same anniversary day.)
Hey, Deanna. I was wondering if you were past all this, since it's been several days, but I just read your latest post about Azure being sick, so I guess not. I recommend the book The No-Cry Sleep Solution by Elizabeth Pantley. I think it has good ideas about how to teach your baby to fall asleep on her own without letting her cry it out, which I've never been able to do.
Also, if weaning is really emotional for you and not going well for Azure, you might consider taking her with you to Hawaii. What I mean by that is not that you should take her, but that you could consider it an option. It might allow you to feel less stress about weaning in a fixed amount of time, which might encourage the weaning process by lessening the stress. And then you can still leave her at home, because you'll be relatively stress-free and the weaning will come easier! I'm just making this up, but it might work.
Like Stefani said above, you should follow your own feelings, and not what other people say you should do, or even when you're going on your trip. If you think you might feel guilty later on or if it's really hard on you emotionally or on Azure, it's better to take Azure with you to Hawaii.
Just an interesting side note, there's some evidence that women at one time went on long trips away from their baby to finish the weaning process. I read about it in A Midwife's Tale, a history book about a late 18th century midwife based on her journal. Their babies were older, though, usually around 2 to 2 1/2 years old. But I thought it was interesting. A good excuse to get away!
There you go. Not helpful at all. :)
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