Somewhere along the line I became a little wary of the whole Santa idea. Who knows when exactly it started. Either when Charles and I were engaged or recently married we shared our thoughts on Santa and the Consumer Christmas Crisis (coined phrase by me), and decided we didn't want to teach our kids to "believe" in Santa.I do think it's possible to keep Christ in Christmas without eliminating Santa altogether but, it just seems easier to not include Santa at all. I know children love the thrill and fantasy of secret, make-believe fairies and what not but, I don't want to have that conversation when they find out the truth, are heartbroken, and then say, "You lied to me!"
So, I am interested in the experiences that you've had. Did any of you grow up or know someone who did without a belief in Santa? What do you think are the pros/cons of eliminating the Clause?
Also, what tips do you have to avoid the inevitable of kids who know the "truth" not telling other kids? The last thing we want is for parents of our kids friends to hate us!
*Please note that this is in no way to offend anyone that perpetuates the belief of Santa.
12 comments:
I felt the same way when Carter was smaller and wanted to not do Santa at all, but Danny thought I was crazy. He definitely isn't the focus of our Christmas but I do wonder about the fact that the kids will realize he isn't real. This blog was written by a friend of ours on the subject and I think it makes some valid points: http://kiplingtimes.blogspot.com/2008/11/in-defense-of-santa-clause.html. Maybe it'll help:)?
I really HATE the whole Santa thing and I have kept it up for only ONE reason: I fear Haley would "set others straight" when talking about Santa... like her little cousins or kids in nursery--and that could really crush them. So, we try not to make a big deal out of Santa; thus, he's not that big of a deal to Haley. (We make sure she knows she gets presents from lots of people, not just Santa.)
Good luck with your decision!
I don't have any tips to help eliminate Clause. However, I wouldn't worry about your kids spilling the truth to other kids. I was in 2nd grade and a 6th grader came in the bathroom and announced that Santa wasn't real. I went home and had a good laugh with my parents. I believed until I was 10 or so. I think it is a natural thing for kids to find out, in due time, on their own. So if kids want to believe they will--that is just my opinion though!
I remember believing in Santa when I was little girl. Then as I got older, I just kind of realized he didn't really exist and that the true "Santas" were my parents. I was ok with that. I guess it's because my parents never made a huge deal about the whole Santa thing, probably because they're both from Tonga and the whole Santa spiel doesn't exist there. We never left cookies under the tree, never had presents "from Santa", etc. So maybe it would help to just not make a big deal about Santa. Good luck!
I grew up not believing in Santa. We had a family rule that we couldn't tell other people that he was not real, which we were okay with. (It actually made me feel like I had an edge over the other kids---kind of a fun secret that we KNEW there WASN'T a Santa, instead of believing in him like everyone else---sheesh---I know my parents didn't teach us that---that's my own little kid pride there. :) My parents just taught us that Santa is part of the fun of Christmastime (they even gave us presents that said, "From Santa and Mrs. Claus" on them, and since we knew it was really Dad and Mom, we just chuckled at it. We'd watch Santa movies, and even had a "Santa's helper" that would wear a Santa hat and pass out the presents to everyone Christmas Day (my parents would select one of us and put a message and treat in our stocking if it was our turn that year.) So really, my parents still made Santa a fun part of Christmas and taught us that even though he isn't real, the giving spirit he represents is something good.
When Josh was little he believed in Santa, and one reason why we decided not to do the Santa thing was that when Josh found out there was no Santa, he began to question if there was a God too--like, if there was no Santa, who gave you good things if you were good even though you couldn't see him, why would there be a God who also gave you good things if you were good even though you couldn't see him. His parents had taught him to believe in both, right? So it was something to think about, and one reason why we decided to forego the Santa thing, though we might still do the "Santa's helper" tradition my family started and that kind of fun stuff.
I love having Santa in our Christmas. I think it's just about balancing things. I think Christmas can get out of control with the presents and what kids expect. This year we've totally just decided how we'll try to do Christmas with our kids from this time on. I think making Christmas Eve a time to focus on Christ can also help. Since Will is getting old enough to really understand certain things, it's been great to tell him WHY we have Christmas. He loves to see Santa in the mall and other places, and is excited when we drive at night and see Santa things at peoples houses. He also notices when there is a manger scene and gets really excited. I've just found that it's so fun to have the anticipation of Christmas with kids. SO FUN! It's also super important to let kids know that serving other and helping people is what Christmas can be about, and teaching them to be Christlike, and about why we celebrate Christmas. I think it only because all about Santa if you make it all about Santa. We also only have 1 or 2 gifts FROM Santa in our house. I know other people that make the stockings stuffers from Santa. I hope you guys are able to figure out what you want to do. Good luck.
Brock and I decided that the stocking and one gift will be from Santa. I also agree that if you don't make a big deal about him, they probably won't get disappointed. I found out that he wasn't real early on and it didn't seem to bother me much...
Thank you all for your input. It helps to make a decision partly based on friend's opinions, opinions from people we love and respect.
Hola!! Hope things are going well. Are our kids really old enough that we have to start thinking about this already?!!! Sheeesh. Time flies. I like the idea of doing a little bedtime story or advent calendar in December and each night focusing on a part of the Nativity Story or a story about the Savior. Avoid the Santa lists of demands altogether, but I always enjoyed leaving cookies and eggnog (my dad's favorite) for Santa and getting one little present from him on Christmas, even when we all knew my dad ate the cookies. He always left a note from Santa about the true meaning of Christmas and we still had that tradition even when we were all older and knew the truth. As soon as I knew my parents were Santa, I felt like I was "in" on the secret and wasn't a spoiler for anyone. He's part of the spirit of giving and Christmas magic.
I think my parents mostly just kept silent on the whole Santa Claus thing. I'm pretty sure that they must have suggested it to some degree to my older siblings (via reading "The Night Before Christmas" and singing Christmas songs and so on, probably), but by the time i came around (#5), sisters and brothers were the ones who convinced me Santa existed, not my parents. I don't think Mom and Dad disabused us of the idea, either--again, my brothers took care of that one for me. :) On Christmas we got some presents addressed from our parents, and then some without a "from" mentioned at all--just our names. SO, of course we assumed Santa Claus. But it was never something my parents wrote out, and never something i remember them coaching us in. Just a thought.
Zack is a believer in Santa...it's a shame but I wanted him to have some fun with it. However, I really try to read him the stories with the nativity and set up lots of little ones around the house to focus on the Christ part of Christmas. Santa isn't going to spoil him either, b/c his parents already do enough of that. I think it's really just where as parents we put the emphasis and then the child(ren) will follow.
Well, I grew up without believing in Santa and will probably do the same with my kids. My parents didn't ever say Santa DIDN'T exist, but we never did anything related to him (like leave cookies out, etc.) We got a few presents labeled 'from Santa' and that was it.
While I don't think it's necessarily BAD to have kids believe in Santa, I'm glad that my parents didn't empasize it. Kids are bound to see Santa around everywhere outside of the home enough that I think the home can be focused on Christ.
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