The Mother's Day That Changed My Life

Mother’s Day evokes lots of emotions. Five years ago, the day before Mother’s Day, a “friend” of mine handed me a parenting book. She said that she had been observing me the last few months and that it was painful for her to watch me interact with my daughter, who was three at the time.  I was completely dumbfounded. The last few months that she had been “observing” me I had been struggling. My husband was doing rotations for Pharmacy School in another state, leaving me a single mother to take care of two small children. I didn’t have many close friends and was lacking in emotional support. My family lived over 2,000 miles away on the other side of the country. I sometimes went days without talking to an adult besides my husband on the phone or on the weekends when he’d come home from North Carolina.

Yes, I admit my three year old and I went head to head frequently. Her stubbornness exceeded mine and we often had power struggles especially as she became more and more articulate. My second child, who had been extremely calm the first year of his life all the sudden became very  demanding and clingy after turning one. My patience was stretched so thin, I often felt as if my entire being had completely disappeared. I didn’t know who I was. I had lost myself in motherhood. Since my husband was gone, I could pray aloud and I often wept as I prayed to God to help me. I hated that I lost my temper daily and that I yelled. I had hoped that after enduring that in my own childhood that I would be better. But, I wasn’t and I was so shameful and disappointed in myself.  

To make a long story short, that was the worst Mother’s Day I have ever had. For a long time after this incident I put up walls around me. It’s one of the most painful experiences that I’ve had (this is only the shortened version) and I didn’t want to open myself up again to “friends” who were taking notes on all my parenting flaws. Sometimes I still struggle with social anxiety, especially when my children are misbehaving in public and I feel like all eyes are on me. I’m so grateful for true friends who love me and when they see me struggle with a child, they come to my aid and help distract or just put their arms around me and tell me they’ve been there, that they understand, that parenting is hard, and just listen to my frustrations instead of handing me a parenting book.

Five years have past and this Mother’s Day is so strikingly different. I awoke this morning to my husband making me breakfast in our new home that we just bought two months ago. My daughter who is now eight, set the table for me with my favorite plate and her and my now 6 year old son laid out all the gifts they had made me in school on the table. My three year son ran into my room with just his diaper on, his blonde curls bouncing in the morning sunlight.

Over the past five years, I’ve grown into motherhood and am more confident about my role. I understand myself better and am more vocal about what I can and can’t handle. I schedule time for myself and take breaks from my children. That doesn’t mean I don’t love them. In fact, it means that I love them too much to give them a ragged spiritually and emotionally distraught mother. I want them to have the best of me. And, for that to happen, I have to have time alone every day. I am finding my place. I realize now that there are different seasons in motherhood. Some seasons are less demanding than others.

So, on this Mother’s Day if you find yourself lacking and feeling guilty for not being the mother you’ve always wanted, I say with Jeffrey Holland, an apostle of Jesus Christ, “Be peaceful. Believe in God and yourself. You are doing better than you think you are.”

This experience has made me more empathetic to mothers who are struggling and feel overwhelmed. Instead of judging and critiquing, let us lift each other up. “No love in mortality comes closer to approximating the pure love of Jesus Christ than the selfless love a devoted mother has for her child.” And, when that love is tested and at times becomes unbearable, let us encourage one another.

3 SIMPLE THINGS YOU CAN DO RIGHT NOW FOR INCREASED ENERGY & WEIGHT LOSS

Here are 3 things you can do starting NOW for increased energy and weight loss.

1) Eat a high protein breakfast within 1 hour of waking up. Food is fuel. Get your metabolism going.

2) Continue to eat protein/carb balanced meals (just as much protein as carbs) every 2-3 hours throughout the day to keep your blood sugar balanced and metabolism revved up. Don’t go over 3 hours without eating.

3) Drink at least half your body weight in ounces of water. Get a water bottle you like to keep track. Guzzle down 20-30 oz within an hour of waking up. The earlier you get your water in, the better.

Healthy Italian Wedding Soup

Total time: 1 hr 15 minPrep: 30 min
Cook: 45 min

Yield: 8 servings
Level: Easy

Ingredients

For the meatballs:
1 1/2 pounds of ground meat (turkey/beef/chicken)
2/3 cup fresh bread crumbs
2 teaspoons minced garlic (2 cloves)
3 tablespoons chopped fresh basil leaves
1/4 cup freshly grated Pecorino Romano
1/4 cup freshly grated Parmesan, plus extra for serving
3 tablespoons milk
1 egg, lightly beaten
1 teaspoon red pepper flakes
Kosher salt and freshly ground black pepper

For the soup:

2 tablespoons olive oil
1 cup minced yellow onion
1 cup diced carrots (3 carrots), cut into 1/4 inch pieces
3/4 cup diced celery (2 stalks), cut into 1/4 inch pieces
10 cups chicken broth
1/2 cup balsamic vinegar
1/2 cup red quinoa
12 ounces baby spinach, washed and trimmed
1 lemon

Instructions: 

Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F.

For the meatballs, place the ground meat, bread crumbs, garlic, basil, Pecorino, Parmesan, milk, egg, dash of salt, 1/2 teaspoon red pepper flakes, and 1/2 teaspoon pepper in a bowl and combine gently with a fork. With a teaspoon, drop 1 to 1 1/4-inch meatballs onto a sheet pan lined with parchment paper. (You should have about 40 meatballs. They don’t have to be perfectly round.) Bake for 30 minutes, until cooked through and lightly browned. Set aside.

In the meantime, for the soup, heat the olive oil over medium-low heat in a large heavy-bottomed soup pot. Add the onion, carrots, and celery and saute until softened, 5 to 6 minutes, stirring occasionally. Add the chicken stock and bring to a boil. Add the quinoa to the simmering broth and cook for 10 minutes, until the quinoa spiralizes. Add 1/2 cup of balsamic vinegar and then the meatballs to the soup and simmer for 1 minute. Taste for salt and pepper. Stir in the fresh spinach and cook for 1 minute, until the spinach is just wilted. Ladle into soup bowls and sprinkle each serving with extra grated Parmesan and a squirt of lemon juice.

Recipe adapted from Ina Garten.

Citrus Basil Strawberry Chia Jam

Makes 2 12 oz jars.

Ingredients

4 cups of clean, hulled strawberries

2-3 TBS chia seeds

2 TBS honey

1/2 tsp stevia

1-2 large basil leaves

2-3 segments of a sweet mandarin (I love Satsumas & Honey)

Instructions

Place everything into a blender. Blend until smooth consistency and then pour into jars. Place in refrigerator.

Notes

If you add 3 or more orange segments, make sure to add 3 TBS chia. The chia seeds act like pectin and will gel in the fridge, making it a thicker consistency. If you love basil, go ahead and add more leaves  Our family uses this as a mix in for plain Greek yogurt, as a topping on German pancakes, and even in smoothies. Enjoy!