A little catch up

I promise I'm getting closer to posting the birth story! I'm kind of a perfectionist when it comes to writing historical accounts.

Here's some pics from the last time I posted.

The hospital billboard with Zeke's name!

 Getting a baby suntan to combat his slight case of jaundice. He didn't need the lamp, just the sun.

Trying out the new goggles she got for Christmas.

We celebrated Charlie's 31st birthday which commences the Festival of Lanterns. His parents had just come that morning. He got a kindle which I have been enjoying while nursing. The day after we finally saw Les Mis. We had high hopes but, just liked it okay. We feel more emotionally tied to the '98 version. But, Anne Hathaway takes the cake for her performance of "I Dreamed a Dream". Wow. Amazing.

We wanted to bless Zekiel while Charles' parents were here so that his Dad could be in the circle but, I was not feeling well enough to go to church (still getting over that stitch pain) so we decided to bless him here at home.

It's way too big for him at only 12 days old!

Our family of 5!

This used to be Charles' T-ball shirt!

Still been feeling up and down which I guess is just normal for me? I teeter between feeling extremely grateful for my children and enjoying the stage of life I'm in, to wishing it all away and escaping to the gym and to Target to buy all the bright colored clothing I can. I can't tell you how HAPPY I am that bright colors are "in" right now. I've loved bright colors since I was a child and it's hasn't always been easy to find them. I am stocking up before they go "out" of fashion. Though, they are eternally in fashion for me.

More posts in the works...

Nativity

I pretty much volunteered to be Mary in our ward's reenactment of the Nativity. I was so fitting being "great with child". Little did I know our baby would really be born on Christmas day. Charles, of course, had to be Joseph.

 They got some candy from Santa. Azure and Vince were reindeer in the skit b/c you know, reindeer were definitely in the manger.

I was asked to sing, "O, Holy Night". No small feat being 9 months pregnant. Breath control was difficult.

Vince stayed by my side while I sang. He hugged my leg a few times. Such a mama's boy.

Postpartum

Zeke will be 2 wks tomorrow. It has gone by in a blur. I found out why I was in so much pain. One of my stitches (or maybe more) tore. Too bad I called about it on a Saturday. I've never had any success with an on-call Dr. over the wkend.

I am feeling much better. Tired, but no real pain. Except an occasional ache in my tail bone. I think Zeke bruised it quite badly when he was trying to turn right before I started pushing.

The last of my live in help (Mom and then in-laws) left today. Which means I have to do my own dishes again. I hate dishes. I have some wonderful friends who have offered to take Azure and Vince this wk and next for a few hrs and bring me some more meals. That will be helpful.

I'm feeling some baby blues but, not PPD which is a relief. I do cry a lot. I have a lot of anxiety. Esp when I have to wait for something and it's taking longer than expected- like our bill at a restaurant or meeting someone who shows up late. I have a fair amount of anxiety anyway but, postpartum exacerbates it. Luckily the oxytocin I get while nursing calms me down and helps me to feel peaceful and relish the quiet moments of snuggling with Zekiel even at 3am.

Vince seems HUGE now. I think he's gained 5 lbs and grown a couple inches since Zeke was born. He's also talking a lot more. One of the funniest things he's said as of late was the other day when we were driving. He asked where we were going, "WalMart," I replied. "I hate WalMart." "Me too." Also, today as I was putting him down for a nap, placing him in his crib (so he wouldn't escape) he said, "This is the worst." He makes me laugh!

He is very interested in Zeke. He wants to kiss him every 2 mins. The problem is he doesn't know how to be gentle. So, his affection for his little brother is a cause of my anxiety. I am worried he's going to hurt him. But, it is darling to see how much he loves him. Recently Vince has liked to make up songs. One of them was to the tune of "Once there was a snowman" instead he sang, "Once there was a Zekiel". He also made up a new one today about Zeke being his best friend. Melts my heart. I hope they will be best friends.

Azure has been extremely helpful and has brought me cups of water while I nurse w/o me even asking. I am so glad we're homeschooling. I couldn't imagine her being in school right now. She is my main source of help during the day. I would also hate driving her to sch in the morning being sleep deprived and having to wake up Zeke. I think I'll homeschool all the children again when we have baby #4 or at least try to have her at the end of the school year.

All in all it's been wonderful. With every child I have I feel more complete as a person and as a woman. I love my children and I love being a mother. Not because it's easy, but because it's hard. It's true, the more you sacrifice for someone, the more you love them. Blood, sweat, tears, sleep, and breastmilk to name a few.

Our very real Christmas miracle

Ezekiel Lamadrid Jensen was born at 1:25pm on Christmas Day! He weighed 8lbs 6oz and was 21 inches long. My biggest baby yet! Azure was 7lbs 3oz and Vince was 7lbs 15oz.

His detailed birth story will have to wait. Why does it take me so long to write detailed accounts?

My due date was Dec. 21. With my track record I knew he'd come later than that. I was holding out for Sunday, Dec. 23. It was Joseph Smith's birthday and we talked about Joseph for a middle name. If he were born on the 23rd we thought it'd be appropriate to use the name. Sunday morning came with no real contractions and I panicked a bit. "What if the revelation I received was that he'd come by Christmas time? Did it really mean he'd be born by Christmas day?" I had Charles give me a blessing that night to calm my worried heart and mind. In it he said, "The Lord will fulfill His promises to you." I still didn't know what that meant. But, it gave me hope. Something to hold onto for a little while more.

I am absolutely humbled that he was born on Christmas Day. Every time I think about it tears well up in my eyes. Do you remember that we found out last Christmas that we were pregnant? And after my miscarriage I felt the Lord speak to my mind and heart saying, "You will have that same baby in your arms by the following Christmas." Friends, the Lord loves us so, so, much! He fulfills His promises! Zeke is a living testimony of that for me. I hope my mortal mind can remember this miracle when I lose hope or faith or feel unloved. My heart is so full.

The birth itself went well. A few things I wasn't really expecting. Some things I didn't plan very well for. I have even more respect for my body. I went into labor on my own and actually dilated pretty fast without any Pitocin. Yay! More details later...

His shoulder got stuck and I ended up with a 3rd degree tear. I had one with Vince too and it wasn't that bad. But, this time has been much more painful. Friday and Saturday I was in so much pain that I felt it was tainting my birth experience and I was sad that I couldn't bask in the glory and wonder of his birth b/c I was too consumed with pain to do so.

My emotions have been all over the place. Joyful ecstasy to paranoid anxiety. Totally normal for the first week after giving birth.

My body is shrinking down and it feels so good to not be pregnant anymore. It's exciting to be able to wear some of my old lose-fitting clothes again! (ie non-maternity clothes- don't worry they're not my normal form fitting clothes. Can't fit into those quite yet)

And I am in love with my Zekiel. (That's what Vince is calling him and I love it. He also calls him Baby Zete) I could just inhale him in. Tan tierno.

Best Christmas present EVER!

I imagine the Lord chuckling at me whenever someone would tell me of their Dec or early Jan birthday and I would think, "Ugh. I'm glad my birthday isn't so close to Christmas." Or even more recent, "I would never want to have a baby during the holidays." But, now. Now, every time someone asks when his birthday is I will remember that the Lord loves me. I will remember that the Lord indeed fulfills His promises to me. I will remember the importance of forgiveness. The Lord knows what is truly best for us, so much more than we think we do.

"For this child I prayed; and the Lord hath given me my petition which I asked of him" 

1Samuel 1:27