I'll Love You Forever

I remember the first time I knew for certain that I wanted to be a mother. It was in 4th grade, Mrs. Prince's class. Our classroom was combined with another 4th grade class, Mr. Beckley's. On this occasion, we combined together in the middle of our classrooms and had story time, maybe it was for Mother's day 1990. I would have been 9. Either Mrs. Prince or Mr. Beckley read, "I'll Love You Forever" to us. I had never heard of it before but, I remember as they read I was moved to tears. I was so deeply touched by it's message and felt such great love for my own mother and also a longing in my heart for my future children.

We drove by Azure's school this evening on our way to drop Charlie off at the trail head for his solo camping trip. This wave of nostalgia washed over me. It won't just be Azure's school come August. It will be Vince's too. And, to quote Azure "it will be Zekiel's school, too if we stay here long enough." School starts in 2 months. Time is going by quickly, yet as I wrote in my last post, it doesn't go by fast enough sometimes.

Time is such a strange phenomenon. The paradox of it speeding by and dragging on boggles my mind. The honest truth is sometimes I dread being a mother. It's so overwhelming and thankless some days. So much pressure to raise these needy human beings into something magnificent, when I myself am lacking. So many interruptions. Too much whining and noise. Yet, nothing in this world means more to me than being a mother, other than being a wife.

I know that as women we have a divine longing to nurture children that we inherited from our Heavenly Mother. But, just as anything, this feeling waxes and wanes at times. Though we can not deny that it is there underneath the frustration and confusion. Motherhood matters. Marriage matters. Today is a sad day in history for the United States. The divine institution of marriage has been redefined by our government in the name of love and tolerance.

In college, a lot of my major focused on The Family: A Proclamation to the World. I love that document and I believe it to be the word of God Himself. I want my children to know that I will love them forever and that I will forever do my best to live and defend the teachings of Jesus Christ including "maintaining and strengthening the family as the fundamental unit of society."

The little things

When Charles and I were first married we started a morning ritual of reading Pres. Hinckley's Stand A Little Taller devotional book together (it contains a scripture and a short commentary from Pres. Hinckley). Then we concluded with a prayer and went our separate ways to work.

About 5 months after we were married I became violently ill with pregnancy and started going into work late or not at all (it was a tender mercy that my job that year was extremely flexible). Thus, started the new ritual of Charles reading the devotional book to me while I laid in bed sometimes half-asleep or fully asleep or occasionally awake. Then he would kneel by my side of the bed and pray and then leave for work.

Almost 6.5 yrs later he still does this. And I am usually still asleep :) I am not a morning person and Charles likes to refer to me as his corpse bride since I am almost always asleep when he leaves for work. Though, we haven't read Pres. Hinckely's book now for 2 yrs or so (he grew tired of it after reading it 3x in a row) he still kneels by my bedside and prays.

It is and always will be a fond memory in my heart that he takes the time to do this. Though, I don't always remember the exact things he says in the prayer, since I am half-asleep, I can feel of his love and my Savior's love for me as he does this. Sometimes he's rushed in the morning and running late- doesn't matter- he stills prays with me. One of the most striking characteristics I first noticed in Charles when we first met and started dating was his integrity. His commitment to pray with me every morning continues to be an example of that integrity that I first noticed.

In celebration of The Family: A Proclamation to the World this month I want to echo that "the family is ordained of God." And that "marriage between man and a woman is essential to His eternal plan." And it is through the love, mercy, atonement, and resurrection of our Savior Jesus Christ that the love that Charles and I have for each other (and our children) can last eternally.

"O love that binds our family, O love that brings my heart to thee,

Pure love that lasts eternally- Come, fill my soul today; Come, fill my soul today.

O love that overcomes defeat, O love that turns the bitter sweet,

Pure love that makes our life complete- Come, fill my soul today; Come, fill my soul today."

(O Love That Glorifies the Son)

I love to see the temple

We went up to Raleigh, NC on the weekend of Oct. 22 to see Evelyn and Mike be sealed. Catherine also came down from DC and just as expected it was a wonderful experience. Their sealer was Elder Scott's brother.

Beautiful fall foliage. Perfect weather. Loving friends. Food. Football. A great way to celebrate an eternal union.

The kids ate a total of 50 fruit snacks (about 25 pouches each) and 24 applesauce pouches the entire weekend. Interesting diaper changes.

In the spirit of Thanksgiving here's a small sampling of things I'm grateful for:

• That Elijah the prophet restored the sealing power to Joseph Smith making it possible for relationships (like Ev & Mike's) to be perpetuated beyond the grave and last eternally. That this is indeed truth and not just wishful thinking.

• To be able to go to the beach in November and wear shorts. I really do like Savannah :)

• My body and that I am healthy

• To be able to stay at home with my children (though somedays it's hard to see this as a blessing :)

• Music and my calling as Primary Chorister

• Stacy's pita chips (we may or may not have eaten 4 bags in 3 days)

• That I am madly in love with Charles and insanely attracted to him (emotionally, spiritually, and physically) and he feels the same about me

• The sound of Azure making Vince laugh hysterically and watching them play so well together

• To have a wonderful group of friends who love and support me and like to be around me as much as I like to be around them

• General Conference talks- gems!

•  Seeing a whole array of yellow, red, orange, and purple trees

• To see azaleas blooming in the Fall!

It is good to be alive!

The Family Proclamation

I have yet to mention the Family Proclamation Celebration that went on again this year as September is the month of it's anniversary.

And since today is the last day of September I figured I better hurry and post this.

September 29 is a special day in our family history. My Papa, Rocco Joseph Gulino was born in 1928. I remember him reading the Bible, specifically the New Testament, every morning. As a child this had a big impact on me. I credit part of my early search for religion in my life to watching him read the scriptures consistently. He is a good man.

On September 29, 1979 my parents were married. I always thought it was so cool that they had gotten married on my Papa's birthday. I used to tell my Mom when I was little that I wanted to be married on her birthday. Even though that didn't happen, I did have Azure the day before her birthday.

(when Charles and I were engaged I wrote DML+CSJ on this copy of the Family Proclamation. hee, hee)

On September 29, 2005 Charles and I told each other that we loved each other for the very first time. I remember that night vividly. It was a cool, crisp autumn night in Provo. I had shared with him a couple verses in 2 Corinthians Chapter 12. Specifically 9 & 10. Later we chose it as our wedding scripture.

A couple weeks ago we started writing our Family Mission Statement for Family Home Evening. We still haven't finished but, the spirit was strong even though the children were screaming and running around. It was a confirmation that what we are doing is important. That writing a mission statement, making goals as a family, and working towards them is important and the Lord's will for us.

I know The Family: A Proclamation to the World is an inspired document written by prophets and apostles. I know that all the words contained therein are true and is God's will. Oh, how I love that document.

We are far from perfect. We yell. We constantly make mistakes. But, I love us! And I want this print hanging up in our living room.

Happy Conference weekend. We are looking forward to a yummy breakfast tomorrow morning :)

Summer Recap Part 2: Of Course

Of course, we had to go to the beach.
And play in the sand...

And in the water. Well, not me. What they say is true, the Pacific is much colder than the Atlantic. I couldn't go in but, Azure sure had fun with Papa.
And she really loved being buried in the sand. Can you tell?

She still talks about it.

Matching faces
And of course, being in Newport Beach we had to stop at the temple and show Azure where Mommy and Daddy were married. She'd never seen it before.

We've taught her about the premortal world and told her that she was in the temple with us, along with Vince and her other siblings as spirits and they were sealed to us, making us an eternal family.

"In the premortal realm, spirit sons and daughters knew and worshiped God as their Eternal Father and accepted His plan by which His children could obtain a physical body and gain earthly experience to progress toward perfection and ultimately realize his or her divine destiny as an heir of eternal life. The divine plan of happiness enables family relationships to be perpetuated beyond the grave. Sacred ordinances and covenants available in holy temples make it possible for individuals to return to the presence of God and for families to be united eternally."

When we pulled up to the temple she said, "I was here! And so was baby Vince!" Though, I don't think she really remembers that, it still brought tears to my eyes to hear her say it.

"Yes, Cub, you were. You were here."

Oh, how I love to see this temple...









And guess where we had dinner? Yes, another newly opened Cafe Rio in Costa Mesa! What a great day. Minus Charlie, of course.

Disappointed

I subscribe to Bath and Body Works emails b/c I like their lotions. But, when this popped into my inbox a few weeks ago, I furrowed my brow with a face of disgust and disappointment. It looked like a Victoria Secret ad.

I just wrote them an email explaining my disappointment in choosing this picture to advertise their new line. I originally just deleted the email, but, after going to the mall Saturday and seeing this picture plastered all over their store and then receiving another email from them with the same picture on it, I decided to DO something about it. So, I wrote them an email.

If you feel so inclined to do the same, you can here.

* I should add that the reason this is so disappointing is b/c B&BW up to this point has not had scandalous advertisements such as these. So, I feel like this will be the norm now for them. That makes me sad. Sad and then angry.

I believe that we can make a difference by doing small things like writing emails. In so doing, I feel that I am doing my part to strengthen and protect the family.

"We call upon responsible citizens and officers of government everywhere to promote those measures designed to maintain and strengthen the family as the fundamental unit of society."

Celebrate good times, come on!

15 years ago this month The Family Proclamation was issued by President Hinckley and the Quorum of the 12 Apostles in the General Relief Society Meeting. So, there is a celebration! How fun huh?

Click here for some posts about it. Here's one of my favorites.

Last week Charles and I were discussing the goals that we have for our family. I've mentioned before that our goal is to have an intentional family. That concept comes from this book.

We don't have TV in our home. It's more of a circumstance than a choice. When we moved here we hooked up the cable to our TV and...nothing. Not even local channels, everything was fuzzy. Didn't matter, we don't like TV anyways, except for BYU games. And I like the Food Network. Not sure we'll even have TV in the future.

But, something that Charles and I both love is the internet. We don't waste hours watching TV, but we sure do waste a lot of time on the internet. It's so bittersweet. We live far from friends and family so we like "staying in touch" through Facebook and reading blogs to know about things like the Family Proclamation Celebration. However, being on it at the expense of spending time together, was affecting our family goals. We had made attempts in the past to "limit" our time somehow but, had failed. With Charles being in school it was too hard. He needed to be on the computer to study and what not. With him gone at school and studying, I was also on the internet a lot.

Two weeks ago Charles finished his coursework for Pharmacy school! Hooray! No more classes! He wouldn't need to be on the computer as much to study. He had the fabulous idea that when he got home from work or his rotations that we would not get on the computer. We would wait until the kids were asleep. Both of their bedtimes is around 8-9pm so we'd have about 2-3 hrs at night to surf the web. Plenty of time.

We are 2 days into our goal and it has been wonderful. Tuesday was one of my favorite days in a long time! Charles came home so excited about working in the ER. It was so fun to see him so excited to learn and enjoying the beginnings of his career. We made dinner together. We cleaned up together. All 4 of us went running together with our new jogging stroller. It was a day of family work and togetherness and not until after we had put the kids to bed did we get on the computer. Some of you might already do this, we are a little slow :)

I haven't yet decided how I'm going to limit my time during the day when I'm here w/ the kids. Sometimes writing an email or reading a blog serves as a small break for me and refreshes my "adult mind" and gives me ideas of how we can play together. The main goal of this is to be together as a family when Charles gets home and focus on each other, all 4 of us.

Though we made this goal before finding out about the Family Proclamation Celebration, we are now following through with it, with the proclamation in mind. I wanted to write about this to inspire others to do something too. If you decide to do something, please let me know. I'd love to hear about it!

"Successful marriages and families are established and maintained on principles of faith, prayer, repentance, forgiveness, respect, love, compassion, work, and wholesome recreational activities."