Florida

May was fun! We decided to have a 5 de mayo par-tay with the Saavedras. Since Brian's bday was a couple days before we made it into a bday party. Charles bought him a Hello Kitty pinata.

On Tues. May 7th we headed down to Orlando for Charles' annual Infectious Disease Pharmacy Conference. Last yr Charles' parents came down with us and we went to Disney World. This year we decided to go to the Nickelodeon Water Park Resort. It was a lot of fun. We didn't tell the kids we were going so they were very surprised and excited about it.

We stopped in St. Augustine for a night and looked around Flagler College. So gorgeous.

And, of course, we stopped for my favorite dish that I've been thinking about for the past 3 yrs. Yum!

Florida beaches are so superior to GA beaches!

And, then we arrived...

 I LOVE babies! I really do. I used to not. But, the more babies I have, the more I just love them. Toddlers not so much, but, babies yes :)

He is so adorable! I can hardly stand it!

 Meeting the TMNT has started a new obsession for Azure and Vince. We watched some old clips together on youtube, but they are a bit too violent for my liking. However, we all sing the theme together at least a few times a week.

 Here's Vince singing some of it: (Loooook! The first video I'm posting in like 3 yrs!!! This is huge!)

We got to squeeze in a trip to the Orlando temple while we were there, switching off like usual. So beautiful. The Columbia, SC temple is one of the smaller ones, so it's always nice to go in a big one and really feel the grandeur of God. This one has a stained glass of the Sacred Grove in their chapel that I just love.

And, we also stopped at our favorite Cuban restaurant in Orlando. Always nice to go to bigger cities and eat food we don't get much of in Savannah. Mexican! Cuban! I made it a point to eat every 2-3 hrs on this vacation and felt so much better doing so. We also were very conscious of the protein/carb balance of the meals we ate and we felt a lot more patient with the kids b/c we were eating food that didn't make us feel like crap. It also helped that we prayed specifically over and over again to be patient with them. It was one of our best trips! We only had 1 incident which for us is very good.

We certainly couldn't pass up IKEA! Charles miraculously fit 2 HUGE boxes in our car- this bunk bed and a dresser for Azure. They've been sharing a room since Good Friday. That was when we decided to put Zeke in the crib in his own room. Vince was just sleeping on the floor on a sleeping bag for awhile. Then, we got a mattress for him but, he'd end up on the floor anyways.

At the Nick Hotel, Vince slept in a bed for the first time (it was a bunk bed). I can't believe he had still been sleeping in a crib almost 2 months past his 3rd birthday, esp since Azure stopped about 2 months after turning 2! I think he fell off it the first 2 nights. We would find him on the floor in the morning or under the bed.

It has been really tender hearing them giggling and playing together now that they have this bed. It is forging memories for them that I hope they will always remember. I love it! A couple weeks ago I sang the "Hello Pillow" song to Vince but, realized he didn't have a pillow. I changed that right away! I first made this song up for Azure I think around March 2011. It is sung to the tune of "Hello, Hello" from the Children's songbook.

Hello, Pillow. Hello, Pillow.

It’s time to go to sleep (goodnight)

Hello, Pillow. Hello, Pillow.

It’s time to close your eyes.

And climb inside your warm, snuggly bed and put your pillow underneath your head.

Hello, Pillow. Hello, Pillow.

It’s time to go to sleep. Goodnight!

Charles is planning on running his 2nd marathon in Nov so, Azure has gone with him a few times on his runs. He drops her off after a couple laps around the block and then keeps on going.

You don't know, what you don't know

A couple wks ago Charles got off early from work. We had just pulled up to visit him there, so I took advantage of the opportunity and had him take all 3 children home and I drove his car to do some shopping. My friend Courtney is an interior designer and I recently hired her to come help me re-design our living room and bedroom. Let me just say that again: I hired an interior designer. I have always wanted to hire an interior designer. Rearranging furniture and deciding on coordinating items for rooms is not a talent of mine. I can peruse Pinterest all day and find hundreds of things I like but, have no clue how to even make it work in my own home. Regardless if there is a tutorial.

So, Courtney and I went looking for some things together and she offered some advice as we looked at chairs. I took notes.

When I went back to look by myself, without 3 kids all over me, I felt like I had uncovered a part of me that has been dormant for a very long time. It felt so liberating to go to 6 stores in 2 hrs and GET STUFF DONE. In the middle of the day, I might add. I usually can go somewhere at night when they're all in bed but, by that time I'm exhausted. I would be lucky to go to 2 stores in that time had I taken the kids. Loading and unloading the carseat. Buckling and unbuckling. And it takes about 5 whole minutes to buckle Zeke in b/c of his ninja moves. He grabs the buckle with full force, thrusts it into his mouth, and will not let go. It's a literal tug of war, wrestling match every day with him.

I have not had enough brain space to think about how to decorate my house previously. Sure, I've had fleeting thoughts about it, but, never enough time to invest in actually doing something or the money either. I have been changing at least 1 diaper everyday for the past 6 yrs now! Usually, more than 1, but at least one. Every day. A lot of times I feel not only is my body not my own, but neither is my mind. I'm not allowed to sit and think without being constantly interrupted.

It is liberating to spend time cultivating interests and talents of mine that don’t involve the children. If you were to ask me how I’m doing with 3, I honestly would say, “Good.” I mean, it is a lot but, I don’t feel like I have PPD. It's such a blessing that Charles is so helpful and supportive now, too. I like not having a newborn while he's a student or resident :) But, I do have days when I just want them all to go somewhere else. Such is the life of a mother with small children. I know. And, I know I chose this, and I am happy with that decision. I'm just being real. This is hard. Having 3 at home is hard. But, at the same time 3 feels easier than just 1 did. Isn't that strange?! It's so nice to have Azure help me out with Vince and Zeke.

It's also nice to have like-minded mothers as friends who know and understand the value of some mommy alone time, instead of being judged for that. (One of the things that led to my depression that I am still recovering from.)

So, anyways I know I will get more me time in a different stage of life, but that doesn't mean I have to forgo it all now for a later date. If mommy has some time to herself, then everyone is happy :)

I originally saw this chair last week at Home Goods for $250. That was just a bit too pricey for our budget. I settled for another chair that I liked but, wasn't crazy about the color like this one.  Then, I went back to Home Goods Thurs night and it was on clearance for $175! The first thought that came to my mind was, "The Lord loves me!" This is my favorite color, yet we have very little of this color in our living room. I'm grateful that the Lord cares about the little details in our life. Just looking at this chair makes me happy.

And, I was reminded that my desire to create a comfortable, cozy home where the spirit can dwell and is inviting to others is something that He cares very much about.

I'll post again when we're all done with this room!

April

Charles and I finally got smart phones (him end of March, me beginning of April). Blessing and a curse I think. Like all technology. I'm now an instagramer and hope to blog more by uploading pics from there to here. Now, that I've finally figured that out!

Zekiel Baby was 15 lbs 12 oz at his appt on May 17 (8 days shy of 5 mos)! Porker. He has been trying to sit up all on his own before even turning 5 months. What the heck?! I was just rereading the blog from when Vince was this age and he was a little more developmentally behind. I think it may be b/c I had double swaddled him for so long- he didn't sleep very well if I didn't. He always had plenty of floor time when he was awake though, so I don't know. I never thought about it until just rereading now.

Here's some picture catch up from April.

Pie Plate Eyes x3 :)

Azure taking notes during General Conference. Makes my heart oh, so happy :)

She made her own superhero costume.

Charlie bought tulip bulbs for me for Christmas. I wasn't supposed to see them, but found them in his trunk. The week after Zeke was born he was out in the back and front yard digging and planting away. On Easter they started blooming. It was beautiful! Tulips are one of my favorite flowers. They don't last long here in the life-sucking heat but, here they are in all their beauty. That Charlie is sure charming :)

 10 days shy of 4 mos. He started rolling like crazy that week from front to back and back to front every time I put him on the floor!

Vince crawled into bed with Azure, so sweet!

 

 Zeke's first and only "couch nap".

 

This girl has been a reading machine lately! It makes me so happy that she enjoys reading so much. We skipped a few months homeschooling before and after Zeke was born, so we'll be working through the summer. I hope to do a post on all the things we've done for homeschool this past year before she starts public sch at the end of Aug.

 

Our monthly temple trip. It is difficult making the 5 hr round trip with these 3, but we have been able to feel the powers of Heaven blessing us as we make the monthly sacrifice to go. This time especially, Charles and I felt the blessing immediately in our marriage. A very memorable trip :)

Easter

It takes a lot work to make a holiday special. As a child, you never really notice all that goes into it. But, as a parent now of 3 children, holidays are a lot of work. Special meals means lots of cooking. Fun, meaningful activities take a lot of prep work and planning. And, we don't have any extended family around so most of it is up to me and Charles to do. And women are usually the tradition keepers in their families.

Easter egg bath on Easter Eve- new tradition!

Zekiel watching the bath fun and wishing he were big enough to join them. Next year, man!

Charles was in charge (ha!) of the resurrection rolls this year. Last year was the first time we made them and we used the crescent rolls out of a can which leaves a nasty feeling/flavor on the roof of my mouth. Yes, they are easier but, we have a bread maker and decided to make our own rolls. Charles is the bread master and he did a fabulous job with the rolls. They were delicious.

We wanted to make them ahead of time the night before but, we ran out of time. I was asked to speak on Easter Sunday by my wonderful husband :) Ok, I volunteered. I love speaking in church. Call me crazy. Then, I was also asked to sing. AND I had to prepare a lesson for my Sunday School class. I was released as Primary Chorister last May (but, was still filling in regularly until Aug) and got called last Oct to teach Sun Sch to the 16 & 17 yr olds. I was so happy to be with the youth again! Anyways, I realized on Easter Eve that I had committed to doing too much and was kind of stressing out.

Charles helped me to see that it would be okay to have our resurrection rolls when we got home from church for lunch instead of breakfast. I'm grateful that he helps me be flexible when I am being rigid for some reason.

At church we found out that our good friend Becky who Azure and Vince just adore was in the hospital. Right away I knew we should visit her. Seeing her there really made our Easter feel special, like the real meaningful holiday that it is. We brought her some Easter cupcakes that the kids decorated with special Springtime liners and toothpick banners that I got on clearance last yr after Easter. Charles followed my directions to make cream cheese lemon frosting.

We had a lovely dinner with Theresa and her in-laws who came from CA. We followed tradition and read the Easter story in eggs.

For our Easter gift this year, I bought caterpillars for our butterfly habitat that I bought last year for Easter. This is our new Easter tradition!

Watching these little guys (why are caterpillars referred to as male and butterflies female? thoughts?) grow and get into the chrysalides was emotional. I cried a few times. When they have grown full size the caterpillars crawl up to the top upside down and hang there. Then their body starts shaking like crazy and- get this- the bottom 1/4 of their body falls off! Did you know that?! I didn't. I imagine that that probably isn't a pleasant feeling. We could see their eyes and little faces as caterpillars. When they emerge as butterflies, their eyes and their face looks completely different! This was one point when I got emotional. Our potential is so much more than we can even imagine. If you told that caterpillar part of it's body would just fall off, and that it would grow beautiful colored wings and fly- it would probably boggle it's little mind. We are divine beings and our potential is limitless if we have faith in that Creator who created us.

Looking forward to teaching these lessons over and over again to our children (and myself!) by watching this amazing metamorphosis. You can order them here.

Oh, and I had a birthday. Now, I'm 32. Which is kinda weird. I told someone I was 31 last week and then said, "Wait. No, I just had a birthday. I'm 32 now. I think." I can see the signs of aging in my face and it's a little unnerving. Sometimes I still feel like I'm 16, and then I see a picture of myself and I'm like, "Wow. I'm getting old." We still have lots of wonderful years ahead, right? The best is yet to come!

And one last thing- last year on my birthday I made a wish...

and part of it came true that very week ;) The other part came true on Christmas day :) Remember, the Lord fulfills His promises! To you, and me. 

6 wks-3 months

This little man is 3 1/2 months already. It is soo irresistible to see him grabbing for me, and balling his body up tightly with his mouth gaping open at me wanting to nurse. So, so precious!

2 months

Be still, my heart!

I LOVE snuggling with him- he hugs me SO tight! It's kinda sad when their limbs start stretching out and they stop curling up. I am enjoying this while I can.

He isn't squeaking as much anymore :(

His schedule right now is bath around 7pm. Asleep by 8pm. Awake around 7am. 11 hrs on average. I credit it all to the baby hot tub and his tight double swaddle. Oh, and the familiarity of this exact routine every night.  We have moved him out of our room into Vince's room so he's now in the crib and not the bassinet. We were hoping it would help him sleep in a little and it has. He was waking up around 6:30 when he would hear Charles' alarm clock go off. Now, that he can't hear it, he sleeps 30 mins longer. Every little bit helps :)

His nap schedule varies greatly every day. Usually around 9 or 10am (2-3 hrs after waking) he is ready for a nap and will usually sleep 2 hrs. Ideally, it seems he does well being awake 2-3 hrs and then sleeping 2 hrs but, sometimes he refuses to go down. One of the most frustrating things is trying to get a baby to fall asleep that is clearly tired but, refuses even after multiple attempts! Dealing with that and a defiant 3 yr old throwing tantrums leaves me anxious to leave the house for some alone time as soon as Charles gets home from work.

6 weeks

He can track objects with his eyes and enjoys gazing up at himself in the mirror on the panda (the playgym). In the mornings he is very tranquil and smiley. He is perfectly fine just laying on a blanket surveying his surroundings. As the day progresses he becomes more fussy and needy and incapable of entertaining or consoling himself.

6 wks

A lot of times I feel Charles and I have bitten off more than we can chew with 3 children. Not that we regret the timing at all- remember miracle baby and miracle timing! It's just a lot.

Roll from back to side- 2 mos

My boys (2 mos)

 First time in the Bumbo seat. Azure at dinner asked, "When is Zekiel gonna be able to sit in his seat?" "When he's 3 months probably." Then, I realized he was 5 days from being 3 months and said, "Well, let's put him in it now!" They were SO excited!

Yes, Vince uses Azure's old pink bib now. We had new friends over for dinner and they referred to Vince as a girl b/c of the bib and his long, curly hair!

Vince always asks me to "take a pitcher of me and Zekiel on the panda."

This yellow blanket that he's laying on was knitted by my Nana before I was born. She knitted it for her cousin Nick's son, Russell in 1968. Her cousins came to her funeral (which I intend to blog about) and gifted it to me for Zeke. "It rightfully belongs to you and your children now." I can't tell you how much it means to me to have this blanket. By the time I had babies she was no longer knitting blankets anymore. This is such a treasured gift!

Look at those baby blues!

And, now I'm semi caught up!

My babes

My babes are growing. I've been busy and they are growing before my eyes. Zeke is 25.5 inches long! His head is at the top of the bassinet and his feet are almost touching the bottom! He's not even 3 months yet and his 3 month clothes are getting too tight! I've never had a baby wear clothes bigger than their age yet.

I was looking at this picture today and remembered a vision I had when Charles and I were dating or engaged. Charles made this pouty face and said, "No,no,no,no." In my mind flashed an image of a blonde haired boy making the same face Charles was and saying the same thing. That was a powerful image to me. We knew before we were married that there were spirits eagerly awaiting. I haven't thought about that experience for a long time. It made me feel more tender tonight thinking about Vince. He is that boy I saw 4 years before we created his body.

Today Emily V. came over and as we were talking on the couch Azure joined in our conversation just like she was our age. It was clear she felt comfortable relating her experiences with us, just like she was an adult. I remember doing that at her age, too. She is becoming a young woman. She is growing tall.

Even though sometimes I rush about like a mad woman and shout orders when we're running late, I do take the time to squat down to their level at least once a day and look into their eyes and kiss their faces. I act silly and chase them around and tickle them.

Vince has been saying, "Mommy, you're the best Mommy I wanted." It's like he knows he made a choice to have me as his mother. Maybe he could have picked another woman. But, he picked me. And I feel that. I say to him, "And you're the best son I wanted. I told Heavenly Father, that's the baby I want. I want that one right there."

Having a newborn, or not-so-new born plus 2 other children at home is demanding. And again this baby won't take a bottle or pacifiers. I am 3 for 3. Truth is, in a way, I love being the only one that can give them what they need. Do I complain about that fact at times? Yes. But, I know this time won't last forever. And there is something so very sacred about clutching a baby to my breast and rocking back and forth in that glider that I nursed Azure and Vince in. I thank God for these 3 babes who drive me to insanity and who fill my heart with meaning and joy. Pure joy.

The Body

Remember this post where I announced I wanted to be a massage therapist? I've changed my mind. It is too expensive and going back to school is time consuming. But, I wasn't completely off b/c I wrote:

"...I would be a mini guru of things relating to the sacredness of the body, which is something I feel very passionate about."

I still do feel very passionate about the body. I wrote that post in Sept. 2010 but, the revelation came one night in December 2009 when I was 8 months pregnant with Vince. I can see myself kneeling in our bedroom. I was alone and praying out loud which is my absolute favorite. For some reason I felt prompted to pray about my future career which was odd to me b/c I hadn't been thinking about that recently. 2 other things came to mind besides massage therapy- Pilates instructor and childbirth educator. When I sought for specifics the answer, "Do what you feel passionate about" came to mind. In recording this event in my journal I wrote:

"The Lord knows my interests and passions and wants me to be happy as I figure out how to share my passion and happiness with others."

My good friend Cassie introduced me to the idea of health coaching last June. It resonated with me but, I was pregnant and the timing felt off. As I prayed about whether or not I should do it after Zeke was born, that December night came to mind and I realized this was the answer to that prayer. Health coaching relates to the sacredness of the body!

So, I am now a personal health coach! I have my first client and already it is so fulfilling to help her achieve her goals. I can only imagine that joy increasing in the months to come as we see her progress.

Here is my website. Friends, will you please take a look at it and then pass my info onto anyone you know who has struggled with their weight and/or wants to learn to be healthy for the long term? I decided to work for this company because they focus on support. People who have been overweight for years need encouragement and support and tools to make behavioral changes. I help provide that for my clients. AND, if you yourself are interested in becoming a health coach, let me know. Leave a comment or email me at: sprklyblue@gmail.com My birthday is next week- think of it as an early birthday present for me :)

It feels good to be working on some personal development that allows me to be Deanna, and not just Mommy right now. Also, an added plus that I can help pay down our pharmacy school loans doing something I love. This is exciting! I'm grateful for answered prayers!