Birth story teaser

I have something exciting to announce. Some women I know through the blogosphere and fellow LDS mothers are compiling a book called: The Gift of Giving Life:Rediscovering the Divine Nature of Pregnancy and Birth.

I wrote a submission for this book a couple weeks after Vince was born and decided that it needed some polishing before I sent it in. Up until now I have not polished it up and pretty much forgot about it, and Vince is now 6.5 months old. However, I just read this post and knew I had to submit my story. Now or never. Polished or not polished. So here is my submission for the book (this is not the birth story in it's entirety that I will some day publish on the blog :)

I prepared for a natural birth with my first baby using Hypnobabies. After my water broke, I started having back labor and was not making much progress. Once I reached a 4 and after laboring for 24 hours, my midwife found out my daughter was breech; because my water had already broken, I had to have an emergency c-section. I was devastated. Right before finding out she was breech, my husband had given me a priesthood blessing saying that I would be able to have the natural birth that we had planned and practiced for. We talked about this later and felt that the Lord was referring to a future birth. I knew right away that I would try for a VBAC for my second birth.

The disappointment of my birth coupled with a colicky baby led to post partum depression. As I shared my experience with other women and helped influence them to make their own decisions regarding their births, I started to feel some closure from my own experience. I realized that had I not experienced the heartache and depression that I did with my daughter’s birth, that I might not have the passion or motivation or empathy to help empower other women to feel good about their births. This quote by Elder Wirthlin helped me understand that my pain was being restored to something greater.

"The Lord compensates the faithful for every loss. That which is taken away from those who love the Lord will be added unto them in His own way. While it may not come at the time we desire, the faithful will know that every tear today will eventually be returned a hundredfold with tears of rejoicing and gratitude."

I knew that the Lord loved me and that He needed to teach me things that I could only learn through the disappointment of my daughter’s birth. I learned to trust in His will and timing.

With my second pregnancy I again practiced with Hypnobabies and envisioned the natural birth I had wanted the first time around. I found the only OB in my city who supported VBACs and hired a doula. Though I wanted nothing more than to have a VBAC I had faith in the Lord’s will and knew He knew what I needed better than I thought I did.

A week after my due date I started having contractions. They were intense enough that I couldn’t sleep through them. I felt them in my back again which alerted me that again my baby was not in an optimal position to be born. The next day I had an ultrasound to check my amniotic fluid level since I was “overdue”. It was down to 4.5. Five is normal. My Dr. was concerned and could have scheduled me for a C-section right then but, told me to come back in two hours to admit me to the hospital. Two hours later I was still at a one.

My Dr. broke my water and gave me pitocin. Of course that increased my back labor. It had been over 24 hours and I could no longer take the pain and the fact that I was progressing so slow. I knew it was going to take even longer so I asked for an epidural. I was still able to move around with the help of my doula and husband to try to get my baby in a good position. After about 40 hours of labor I was at a 6. I knew that my chances of having a VBAC were getting slimmer as time went on. I was also coming close to the 24 hour “deadline” that most doctors give to laboring women after their water breaks.

I tried to prepare myself mentally for having another C-section but, the thought of that made me cry. It didn’t seem fair after having labored all this time to just have another C-section. My Dr. was supposed to come back to check on me but, she got caught up in a surgery. During the time she was in that surgery my back labor finally stopped and I had completely dilated to a 10! I know it was no coincidence that she was in the surgery for so long. Had she come back any earlier I think she would have made me have a C-section. Never before in my life could I feel the intense power of my friends and family praying for me.

I was able to have a VBAC! Having a vaginal birth was more important to me than having a drug-free birth. Sure, (again) it wasn’t the way I had planned but, being able to push my son out of my own body was a wonderful feeling. And I don’t mind that I needed an epidural to be able to do that. I did it! Will I try a third time to do it naturally? Yes! But, if not, I will accept the Lord’s will and just be happy to have a healthy, beautiful baby. A few days after the birth I read this scripture and felt the Lord speak directly to my heart:

“And it came to pass that after I had prayed and labored with all diligence, the Lord said unto me: I will grant unto thee according to thy desires, because of thy faith” (Enos 1:12).

My righteous desire was to have a vaginal birth. I’m so grateful He saw fit to grant me that desire not only because of my faith, but because of the faith of my family and friends too. Together we all witnessed a miracle.

If you have a story to share, do it!