Easter and forgiveness

We are SO in need of an update over here. Let's just start with Easter and then I'll back track later. You all know Easter is my favorite, right?!

One thing I do dislike about Easter though, is that it always falls on a different day, or different month, each year. I really, REALLY love Easter being the 2nd Sunday in April. Conference weekend the week before Easter is so perfect. It really sets the stage for our whole Holy Week. Can I make a deal with someone that Easter can forever and always be on the 2nd Sunday in April? Please?!

Conference! I could do an entire post just on Conference. I felt a common theme was forgiveness. And, oh, how I needed that topic! I mentioned in my birthday post how challenging it had been for me. Things seemed to click in my mind how I could go about forgiving while maintaining my personal boundaries. (a huge source of my struggle) Of course, I had prayed and fasted about it many, many, many times. Conference just made it all come together.

I will just say that God does answer prayers (sometimes it takes a long time to figure out what the answer is) and that He respects our agency and is very patient with us. He is intimately involved in the little details of our lives.

I made amends with my offender the day before Easter with a lot of support from friends and mostly Charles. I could not do it without him! It felt like a big milestone in our marriage. There's no way I can make it to heaven without this guy. No way.

If anyone reading this is carrying around a burden or a grudge against someone let me motivate you to reconcile it- not for their sake, but your own. I feel much happier! Forgiveness is not synonymous with acceptance of the offenders actions or even friendship. That was hard to figure out!

Onto Easter....

egg dyeing

and egg hunting

not egg snacking (no hard boiled egg fans here)

Some bunny loves you ;)

On your marks...

Go!

zip-lining

and tramp-jumping

static hair flying

Resurrection roll making

early morning rejoicing

I awoke just before sunrise to read all 4 accounts on the morning of Christ's resurrection on our back porch. It's something I try to do every year since my time at BYU. (preferably at dawn and outside) Hearing the birds chirp enthusiastically as I read and watched the darkness dissipate into dawn filled my heart with love and gratitude and testimony.

Azure and I sang Hosanna together (just the two of us) as part of our ward's Easter program. This is our 2nd time performing together. I just love that girl.

Having forgiven my foe the day before, coupled with a morning devotional and a performance with Azure, really made this an even more meaningful Easter. Christ lives and He loves us!

Happy Birthday to me!

My birthday has started out great. I woke up at 6am this morning and went running with 2 of my friends. I came home to Charles making me an omelet with fruit and yogurt for breakfast. So unexpected! When we were ordinance workers in the Provo Temple our first year of marriage we would come home from our shift and make omelets together. Sweet memories :)

I had a birthday lunch with Theresa, Jen, and Lindsey and our 8 children at Back in the Day Bakery. Home of my favorite cupcakes. Homemade, not box mix.

Picasa is like instagram now!!!

Charles and I made my birthday cake together last night-a raspberry creme layer cake. Didn't turn out the way I expected-I am so not a baker! It still tasted good though.

Charlie and Azure got me a balance board to keep my abs tight. They know me well :)

And some Lindt chocolates that apparently Azure picked out and wanted to make sure that I would share them with her :)

Then we went on a dinner date to the Casbah. We expected to be rockin' but, turns out we got rocked with the wrong meal. Oh well, we made the best of it and ate it anyways. Mostly it was a lovely evening because I got to admire this face that I love so much from across the table.

We ended the night watching North Shore on Netflix. So ridiculous! Charles keeps watching this clip over and over again. Whatevas!



I love birthdays! I have an uncanny memory for birthdays. I remember many birthdays from my friends in elementary school that I have long since lost contact with. I love making a BIG deal out of my birthday so I enjoy doing the same for others.

I have really been looking forward to my birthday for awhile because my birthday kinda feels like New Years Day for me. I feel like it's a rebirth (so appropriate for my spring birth), a time to start over. And I need a fresh start! This past year has been a tough one for me. Charles' residency has put a toll on all of us and our family life. I have had emotional turmoil and anxiety since the incident last May and reoccurring incidents over and over since then. I am learning where the line between forgiveness and not being taken advantage of lies. It has been extremely challenging. I don't have any pics of me crying my eyes out but, there could be plenty.

But, at the same time this has been a really good year too. I am learning more about myself and how to be comfortable in my own skin. I have more close friends than I've had since before I was married! (such an answer to prayers) I have multiple friends on my speed dial (that's how you know if I'm really tight with someone, they make it to my speed dial :).  I thrive when I am surrounded by people who truly love me and I'm getting closer to thriving.

I have been reminded that you cannot experience joy without experiencing pain. You have to taste the bitter to know the sweet. But, even in those painful, bitter days the Lord allows moments of joy every day. I am so grateful for that. And I am grateful for happy days filled with laughter and pure joy.

My 31st year is going to beat the pants off my 30th year! (Technically this is my 32nd yr right?) I am so excited and so filled with hope.

4 and a half going on 12?

Azure is a pure delight to have around. I am really, really going to miss her when she starts kindergarten in 5 months (what?!).

She's really been growing up lately. For the past month or so now she takes showers all by herself. Lathers up her pouf and her hair and rinses off. Grabs her towel, asks me what the overnight low is, and dresses herself accordingly. Though sometimes she does need suggestions of what jammies to put on. She's so proud of herself! It is fulfilling to see her grow and mature.

About 2 months ago we had a Family Home Evening lesson on prayer and read stories from The Friend. Charles had an old prayer rock from when he was a little boy that we gave to her. She is diligent about putting it inside her pillow to remind her to say her personal bedtime prayer and then when she is done she puts it by her door to remind her to say her morning prayer. I usually go in her room every night after she is asleep and just before I go to sleep to check on her (mostly to make sure she is inside her blankets if it's cold at night). I usually hit the rock with the door when I open it and have to adjust it when I go back out. It really touches my heart to see her doing this. Her prayers have become much more sincere recently and she doesn't say no when we ask her unless we have friends over for dinner. You would think she'd love a chance to show off in front of a crowd, but not to say a prayer.

Last week we went to a play at our local library of The Cat in the Hat in honor of Dr. Seuss' birthday. Azure was picked by The Cat to help clean up the house before the mother returned. She was really excited about that! Afterwards she wanted to go "backstage" to tell The Cat that she watches his show every morning on PBS Kids. It obviously made a big impression on her and she tried to duplicate her own play using her puppet show and dressing up in costume (like a mouse) and even asked me to paint her face. Then as she was laying in bed before falling asleep she read The Cat in the Hat alone out loud. I stood by her door and heard her reading it. Made me smile.

We've also talked about the importance of Scripture reading everyday so most mornings I find her reading the scriptures on the computer at scripturesforkids.com

She likes eating fluffernutters and calls them Peanut Butter and fluffel sandwiches. If you've never tried them and you like marshmallow creme and PB, then you must! One of the best sandwiches ever!

Her drawings continue to improve. This is one of her latest:

If you notice- that top drawer is 3D. Not sure how she figured that one out. Impressive! And the flowers are pretty detailed in my opinion.

She is pretty easy going and usually only gets upset (has an outburst) if Vince is bothering her more than usual or if I'm not giving her enough one-on-one attention. Last week I questioned her about something (I can't even remember what it was now) and she got very angry and said red-faced, "You idiot!" Instantly I knew it was because the previous week she had watched Peter Pan about 2.5x (we watched it once together) and Captain Hook continuously calls Mr. Smee an idiot. Knowing where she had gotten the word from made me less angry about her calling me that and I, as calmly as I could, told her that we don't say that word to each other and that we were taking the movie back to the library today and she was not allowed to watch it for a very long time. Dang Disney movies!

Yesterday I asked her to help Vince wash his hands in the bathroom. I heard her struggling in there and then Vince walks out with suds all over his hands. Azure follows exclaiming, "Mom, I can't rinse his hands off. His arms can't reach the water. They are too short. He's like a T-Rex!" I about died laughing!!!!

I pulled out a cookie sheet with our wooden letters to keep her occupied while my visiting teachers came over. (First time in years- yay!) I told her to make up a story. This is what she came up with. She did ask me how to spell forest I think. She put a line over the e to indicate that it's a silent e. We learned that from Teach Your Child to Read in 100 Easy Lessons.

Words really can't express how much I love my sweet cub.

Valentines

Our Family Home Evening activity the day before Valentines consisted of making sugar cookies, valentines, and going around the table telling each other why we love one another. After explaining this Azure said to me, "Oh, I thought we were all going to run around the table."

She just beams when Charles and I tell her the reasons we love her. I guess this girls love language is words of affirmation like her mama's. So, I've started telling her the reasons I love her before bed now too.

On the night of Valentines, we put the kids to bed early (6:30!) and made our traditional meal at home. I still dream about the salmon I had in St. Augustine so I tried to recreate that- salmon over fettuccine with lemon caper sauce. I was pretty impressed that it came out so good without having a recipe. The reason it was so good was because it had a ton of olive oil, butter, parmesan cheese, and heavy cream in the sauce :) Definitely not a meal to eat often unless you want a heart attack.

Oh, and we made these signs for the grandparents. Did you know we haven't seen my parents in 14 months now? And we haven't seen Charles' mom for 2 yrs? And Charles' Dad has never even met Vince? Crazy.

Tybee Beach Run

The day after Vince's birthday (and the day of his party which was a factor in my stress) I ran a race on the beach. It was just short of a 5K- 2.8 miles. For awhile now I've wanted to run a race on the beach (on the actual sand) so I was pretty excited about this opportunity. Last year I ran the 5K with the kids in the jogging stroller and Charles ran the half.

I ran it barefoot on hard packed sand- it was cool. My time was 24:03! My goal was 27 mins so I was pleasantly surprised. I think it helped that I was running on flat ground as opposed to up a bridge.

I asked Charlie to run the last little bit with me instead of taking pics. So, we didn't get any of me finishing, but here are the ones they took. I'm tempted to buy some of these since they got all 4 of us together.

at the starting line

where's mommy?

there she is!

Daddy's girls

They had so much fun chasing the birds on the pier. Especially Vince.

And this is the best picture of the day!