Recently I've been thinking about what "true" feminism really means. I get labeled as a "Femi-Nazi" at times because I have a hyphenated last name. So, people assume that I also work full time and that I put my daughter in day care so I can pursue "more intelligent" pursuits than changing diapers and playing with blocks.
I will admit that I have strong opinions on the equality of the sexes and that my blood pressure shoots up when I hear of women being viewed as less important than men. Reading about Middle Eastern culture is difficult for me.
So, what does it really mean to be a feminist? To be passionate about equality to men? Or to be passionate about being feminine? I think the world's view has interpreted feminism to really be masculinity. In my opinion, feminists don't try to be women at all, but, rather they try to be men. In their quest to prove that they are just as good as men, they try to do things that men do (or don't) like refusing to bear children.
I had an interesting conversation with a doula as I'm in the process of hiring one for my birth. She commented that it's unusual that women don't seem to have many rights when giving birth, even with the rise of feminism. By rights she was referring to how doctors (and sometimes midwives I will add from my experience) pressure pregnant women to have births that are convenient for the doctor, not the woman giving birth. And also how birth is seen as some sort of sickness that you need to go to the hospital for and not a natural process.
Because this had already been on my mind as of late I told her that in my opinion, it was because feminists are trying to be like men, and men don't have babies. A lot of hard core feminists choose not to get married because they view marriage as bondage and if they do marry, they usually don't have children because that infringes even more on their freedoms as women. The small percentage of them that do have children sometimes will opt for C-sections. Have you heard the term "too posh to push"? They would prefer to just have a surgery then to actually go through labor. Men don't have to, why should they? Equal rights!
On feminist.org they refer to those who don't see abortion as a "right" as terrorists. Clearly, the reason why feminists are not fighting for pregnant women's rights (in giving birth) is because most of them are not giving birth themselves, they are aborting their babies. I understand that there are a few legitimate reasons for getting an abortion, including rape. I honestly don't know what I would do in that situation and my heart goes out to all women who are sexually abused. In my opinion there is nothing feminine about aborting, or killing (which is a more fitting word) your own baby that wasn't planned or wanted. Nothing feminine,
nothing human.
Men and women are different. We are not the same. But, our worth is the same.
"...this is an issue of equality, not sameness; it does not mean that women should be the same as men or try to do things the way men do them. Although some jobs that are traditionally masculine are now being done by women, it is possible for them to be done in a feminine way and yet be done equally as well—or even better" (James Faust, A Message to my Granddaughters).
To me feminism means glorying in being a woman and doing things that women do best, like getting all dolled up for a night on the town, talking for hours with girlfriends, laughing and rejoicing with them in their successes, listening to their sorrows and crying with them, hugging and comforting them in their pain, bearing children and feeling their tiny body move inside your own, breastfeeding, nurturing.
Let's be true feminists, not masculinists!
We took Azure and she was riveted the whole time, just staring at my tummy covered in "lotion" and at the screen watching her baby brother. Now, that we know it's a boy Azure is referring to him as "Baby Vince". It's so cute to hear :)
