Man vs Fisher Price

Swings are great. They enable parents to do things like bathe, eat, and update blogs. Unfortunately, some are not of the best craftsmanship. Our Graco swing donated by Uncle Cabe and Aunt Jenn self-destructed shortly before our move and it quickly became apparent that we needed a new one. During a visit to Dale and Kara's, Azure was able to test drive a Fisher Price "Rainforest" model swing. She was thoroughly entertained by it, so we knew what would be a sound choice when we found ourselves swingless. I set out to Babies R Us to purchase said swing while Deanna took care of Azure. I will now describe a fool-proof process of how to look like a fool.

1) Go to Babies R Us by yourself and be male.

2) Ask if you can buy the already assembled floor model rainforest model swing, complete with steel-drum jungle beats, toucan, monkey, and poison frog mobile.

3) Drive a 1986 Honda Accord LXI, and as you are buying the pre-assembled swing, think to yourself: "I'll figure out how to fit it in my car when I get out there."

4) Carry the apparatus in full view of the public out to your car.

5) Attempt to fit the awkwardly-shaped pacification device in your Japanese sedan.

6) Fail repeatedly at step 5

7) Forget to wear a belt the day steps 1-6 are performed.

Luckily, I found a button that collapsed the whole contraption and finally got the thing home. There are no pictures of the new swing to date, out of respect for the old swing. But here is a picture that finally answers definitively the question "who does Azure look like?"