"...weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning."This week I have felt so much better. I even walked a mile and half this morning. Couldn't run though :( But, hopefully I can work back up to it. I didn't even take zofran today and I didn't throw up! And, I was able to cook dinner tonight, first time in 2 months! Again, this has been a difficult trial for me, but joy came this morning :)
Lately Charles and I have been devouring every article we can on being Mormon and gay. We feel strongly about the issue. Charles has spent the last month doing rotations at the HIV clinic and has had numerous gay patients with HIV. I feel that one of my callings in life is to defend the family. That is one of the reasons I majored in Marriage, Family, Human Development at BYU. We are finding out that more and more of our friends from BYU are gay. I dated a guy my freshman year who is now gay. We wrote each other on our missions. I care deeply about him. I want to understand this issue.
However, I know it's impossible to completely understand all of the answers of something so complex as homosexuality in this life. Right now in mortality we see through a glass darkly and do not know the meaning of all things. One day "all now mysterious shall be bright at last."
In my readings I have been disturbed by many things and this is one of them:
I believe that wickedness never was happiness and that we do not experience joy by breaking God's commandments. I believe that true joy comes from doing what is right, by being obedient to God's laws and keeping our covenants."Sometimes, perhaps, a lot of the time, our homosexual loved ones will choose to love as they feel naturally inclined, in same-sex relationships. I believe that they are choosing joy. I’ve known too many gay men and women personally who have attempted either celibacy or relationships with the opposite sex, because of their strong testimonies of the church, and they DO NOT experience joy.Men are that they might have joy.Members of the church who have never deviated from the church’s teachings expect the reward of joy in return. Gay members who have never deviated from the teachings of the church expect the same. Many times they do not find it. So they choose another path, and many times that path, living true to their orientation, keeps them from committing suicide. Because they have finally experienced joy." [source]
We can experience joy through our trials. I have felt joy through mine. No, not deeply, but more of a hope that greater joy is on it's way if I can hang on. Which leads me to Psalms 30:5. Mortality is difficult. It is full of disappointment and despair. Some people are born with same-sex attraction and don't want it. They want families. They pray, they fast, they plead with the Lord to take it away. And He doesn't. They weep through the night. But, joy cometh in the morning.
When is the morning? It may not be until the morning of the first resurrection! But, joy will come for them, if they can hold on. If they can continue in obedience and be faithful to the covenants they have made, joy will come. True joy and peace. "...not as the world giveth, give I unto you." I have faith in that. Just as I have faith that my single heterosexual friends will one day be married and have the children they desire. They weep too. They have sexual desires that they want fulfilled. However, they are living a life of celibacy until they find the one. And their joy cometh in the morning.
Homosexuals are children of God and He has a plan for them. He loves them deeply for they are well-acquainted with sorrow and grief just as the Savior Himself was. We, in the church need to understand that it's okay to have homosexual feelings for some. That is a part of who they are (though it doesn't have to define them). However, it is never okay to act on those feelings. That is the difference. How can we be accepting of who they are, without supporting the act of homosexuality? Thoughts?
Here are 2 amazing articles of gay members of the church who are living the commandments if you haven't read them yet.
4 comments:
I have been very interested in the many new and not so new articles and blogs coming out about coming out... ha! It's helped my perspective. I do agree that our actions will condemn us, not our desires so much. But obviously, desire is also important to maintain or to learn to control.
I love this article by Elder Holland http://www.lds.org/ensign/2007/10/helping-those-who-struggle-with-same-gender-attraction?lang=eng
A favorite quote is "You serve yourself poorly when you identify yourself primarily by your sexual feelings. That isn’t your only characteristic, so don’t give it disproportionate attention. You are first and foremost a son of God, and He loves you."
Life isn't all about sex.
We were sent to earth to be tested and tried. I have wept for some with same-gender attractions, just like I have wept for some who haven't found spouses, and some who can't bare children.
I have to admit that I have been a bit of a "homophobe" in the past and am ashamed of the way I have treated some people. But, I am doing my best now to understand that this is a real struggle and help lift and strengthen those who are enduring the trial of having same-sex attractions and still are faithful Latter Day Saints.
Thank you for this blog post. This issue has been consuming a lot of my thoughts lately and I liked reading your perspective.
Great post. This is a hot topic.
My sister is homosexual and has acted on being a lesbian for over 10 years. She has a partner and they just recently gained custody of her partner's nine year old niece and will be raising her as if she were their daughter.
When my sister came out she was not allowed to bring her "lifestyle" home. Her partner was not allowed to any family events. We loved her, but not her lifestyle. That was how we first dealt with accepting her, but not supporting her.
Through many various happenings my parents attitudes changed over time. My sister longed to be apart of our family, but would end up crying at nearly all family gatherings because her partner, the woman she loved, had to hide out in the car.
Years later my sister confessed that her partner was a source of light for her when she was addicted to drugs and on the brink of becoming an alcoholic. At this time she was heterosexual. As she turned toward her partner, her support helped my sister to completely get off drugs, quit smoking, and she went back to school and finished with a master's degree. Somewhere in the middle of all of this, my mom just threw her arms up and said forget it, let her in and she opened the door for my sister's partner to be apart of our family.
Since, my sister and her partner have been included in everything in our family. There are still awkward moments, but I've developed a strong relationship with her partner. She is like a sister to me. And, I am happy that they are going to be able to be a source of strength for this nine year old girl who was abused by her mother's boyfriend. I saw my sister with plenty of men, but she was never as happy as she was with her partner. (For the record, I also believe true joy is a completely different emotion. In all of my life, I can't ever remember seeing my sister full of joy…)
My feelings are this - we should strive to accept by recognizing homosexuals as individuals who experience similar emotions as any of us. Now that I am older, I would never discourage my sister from acting on her feelings. She has her own free agency. By all means, she knows very well that I don't advocate to teach that homosexuality is okay - I don't support that. Just like any other opinion someone might have about whether or not drinking is okay. But, she knows that she is loved unconditionally and no matter what path she goes down in the future, I'll be there as her sister.
Every time I go to the temple I put her name and her partners name on the prayer roll. As a family, we have faith that she will one day accept the gospel and have the opportunity to be baptized. If not, you better believe I'll be doing her work once she passes! You never know what will happen on the other side :)
This week in my diversity course we discussed GLBT. When you have some down time, you may find this video worthwhile. The panel is made up of four students, each with a different sexual orientation. They are all raised in Utah and were all former practicing mormons. They currently attend Utah State. https://podcasts.usu.edu/MediaPlayer/player.html?filename=Podcasts/FCHD_3210_Mock/2011-05-26/panel_1
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